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I am a Multimedia Artist
xAngelicxWingsx
Female/United States
Why I Am Here
- To appreciate art
Last Visit: 8 weeks ago
Is being a depressive Emo child.
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So. I've recently taken times to look at my life, my past, what i've done to get where I'm at and, to be honest I'm rather depressed about it. I meen. I was a horriable person from grades 6 to 10....and even now I still suck, I still don't listen to those who I know, know better. I'm still making the same idiotic mistakes as I had before..except this time I'm getting worse..obsessing more...playing the same foolish tricks. And ontop of that I expect myself to be able to last on my own for more than a week without my parents.
I dunno...I meen..college...school...working...living by myself...It all seems to be too much...to handle.. I already have a career picked... I already have a trade school that will accept me... I have a new job... ( Which F'ing sucks..) I have no life to live... I ignore those who I care about most because I'm afraid of what will happen when I can't be around them anymore... I get into fights with family members because I feel trapped...when all in all, I know I was wrong.. My psychitrist says " It's just a phase! Here's some more medication!" Honestly...I don't know what's worse, the psychopath that I have to listen to, or having to take so many different medications...
I'm...just breaking down now...So much stress...too much comming, too fast...It's like the race of life is just starting and...I can't even get to the starting line...I'm afraid to start the race because I know...that somewhere along the race I'm going to screw up...Hell..I've already F'd up by...ignoring my friends..by trying to be something I know I'll never become...it's hard enough trying to live with myself...with all the crap I've made everyone deal with..
I dunno...I just feel like...I could've done better...I could've been somewhere better than where I am now...Scratch that..I /know/ I could've done better..been somewhere better than this...makeshift life I've been in...sometimes I feel that the voices in my head are controling me...sometimes I feel like I don't know myself at all... Hell...most of the time....I don't even know who I am...it feels like I'm doing something wrong constantly...I dunno.....I meen...I'm ready to give up...ready to just...lie down and let the world have at me... I dunno...
Thanks for choosing my bookmark as your first favorite!! *feels uber special now*
--
What happens to memories when they're forgotten?
If only, if only, The woodpecker sighs, The bark on the tree Was as soft as the skies The wolf waits below Hungry and lonely And cries to the moon: If only, if only - Unknown
Life...sucks.
Miserable
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Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Think of me long enough to make a m e m o r y
Come bless the child one more time
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If I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
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..::..[[- I'll be myself; only if you do the same as well. -]]..::...
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girls just wanna have fun!
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Pocky + Ramune > Drugs + Alcohol
SUBS > DUBS
Thanks for choosing my bookmark as your first favorite!! *feels uber special now*
--
What happens to memories when they're forgotten?
If only, if only,
The woodpecker sighs,
The bark on the tree
Was as soft as the skies
The wolf waits below
Hungry and lonely
And cries to the moon:
If only, if only
- Unknown
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